Scrub a dub dub

Well, Mom tells me that pretty much the only candidate left for the Republicans is that Romney guy. So here's my dog advice for all of you out there who want to see what's going on: 1. Send him to the groomer right now. Just because he looks neat and tidy doesn't mean anything. He could have leaves, bark, poop, and all sorts of issues in his coat. He needs a good comb through and a nice bath. 2. Make sure his nose is clean. I know my mom sometimes gets upset with me when I root around in the black dirt behind the house. Ok, I lie down in it and it gets stuck to my face and I end up looking like I have a black beard. So make sure he doesn't look like that. Someone might think he's evil because his nose is covered with dirt. So make sure that nose is clean! 3. Since he's not covered with my kind of Great Pyrenees fur, you might want to check to see if he's well protected from the elements. I get a little hot in my suit, so make sure he's well ventilated. Then if he gets hot he'll be able to worm his way out of the situation by claiming it's the heat in the room. Panting is a good method. If I pant a lot, my mom lets me outside. Maybe Mr. Romney can do the same. Especially when the press makes him mad. 4. Religion doesn't mean anything, by the way. I've met lots of humans who say one thing and do another, so a nice flea collar might be good. That way anything that has attached itself to him can be snuffed right away. Kill the flea eggs, and you've got a better candidate. Don't you think?